The internet is buzzing yet again, and this time it's all about Nintendo’s Switch 2 rumors. From leaked CAD designs to wild speculation, it’s safe to say we’re deep into the rabbit hole. But instead of sitting here waiting for Nintendo to drop official news, we decided to have a little fun with it. What do we know? (Nothing) What do we want? (Everything) And more importantly, what’s the most bonkers feature Nintendo could give us? (Cooking sim in every game)

Let’s dive into the leaks, the speculation, and the wishlist of features that might just make the Switch 2 our new favorite toy.

The Rumors: A Bigger, Badder Switch Is on the Way

So, here’s what the internet detectives have dug up. We’ve got CAD documents, PCB photos, and a wave of anonymous leaks that have Reddit losing its mind - which, admittedly, isn’t difficult to do. Allegedly, the Switch 2 is packing a bigger 8-inch screen (because size matters), magnetic Joy-Cons (for those of us who keep losing them), and—wait for it—USB-C ports on both the top and bottom. Because even Nintendo knows that being vers is more fun for everyone.

And then there's the rumored 12GB of RAM and 256GB of storage, which makes this little handheld look less like a Switch and more like a gaming beast that could probably run your side hustle too.

But beyond these tantalizing leaks, the question remains: what do we actually want from the Switch 2? So, we decided to brainstorm our own dream features.

1. Can We Please Have 4K? (We’ll Even Settle for Close)

Dan, bless his optimistic heart, had a request for 4K gaming at 60 FPS on the Switch. Yeah, we all laughed. And then, after seeing the specs, we all sighed in unison. There’s no way that’s happening on this handheld. But hey, a gamer can dream, right? Even if we don’t get full 4K, we’d settle for something close—because let’s face it, we’re tired of squinting at blurry textures when we dock the thing on our massive TVs.

2. We Miss Nintendo’s Wild Gimmicks—Where Are They?

Remember the Wii U? No, seriously, someone has to. Dan’s still raving about it. He loved that clunky tablet, and we all know Nintendo is the king of quirky ideas. But where are they now? Where’s the crazy 3D, the dual screens, the bizarre but endearing Nintendo-ness? Sure, the leaks show us a bigger screen and some neat Joy-Con tricks, but where’s the wow factor? Come on, Nintendo, we’re ready for a gimmick. Give us something wild! A holographic Mario? A console that folds into your pocket like a Transformer? We’re open to suggestions.

3. Voice Control? Sure, Why Not?

Okay, we might be getting a little carried away, but bear with us. Some rumors suggest the Switch 2 might have a microphone, and now we’re thinking...what if Nintendo leans into voice control? Yeah, we’re talking about barking orders at Mario or whispering sweet nothings to Link.

Maulding even pitched the idea of Nintendo creating its own pared-down AI assistant—Peach. Imagine shouting, "Hey Peach, save my game!" Is this getting ridiculous? Yes. Do we want it anyway? Absolutely.

4. For the Love of All Things Mario, Fix the UI

Lord had an idea that we can all agree on: the Switch’s UI is starting to feel like that old sweatshirt you should’ve thrown out two years ago. It’s bland, it’s outdated, and it desperately needs a refresh. And while we’re at it, how about throwing in a party chat feature that doesn’t feel like it was designed by someone who’s never used the internet? Trying to play Splatoon or Mario Kart with friends feels like trying to solve the Manhattan Project. Nintendo, just give us a chat system that works, please. Our friendships depend on it.

5. Subscriptions: We Need More Retro Goodness

Sure, Nintendo has embraced the whole subscription model, but what we really want is more retro games. Right now, you’ve got us hooked on those sweet N64 titles, but it’s time to turn things up a notch. GameCube games? Yes, please. Wii titles? Absolutely. Imagine getting to play Super Mario Sunshine or Metroid Prime on the Switch 2. Not to be dramatic, but if Nintendo makes that happen, we’ll never leave the house again - even though some of us don’t already.

6. Backward Compatibility or We Riot

Speaking of never leaving the house, there’s one thing that could cause an actual riot: backward compatibility. Nintendo, if you make us buy Breath of the Wild one more time, we’re going to lose it. Let us play our old Switch games on the new system. You know it’s the right thing to do. And if it means we can revisit Animal Crossing with slightly better graphics, we’re all in.

What Happens Next?

At this point, we’re swimming in leaks, rumors, and our own wild imaginations. Maybe Nintendo will surprise us and drop a Direct next week with all the juicy details. Maybe we’ll be left hanging until March 2025. Either way, the excitement (and anxiety) is real.

In the meantime, we’ll keep dreaming. Whether it’s magnetic Joy-Cons, AI-driven voice controls, or just a party chat system that doesn’t make us want to scream, one thing is certain: when Nintendo finally reveals the Switch 2, we’ll be ready with open arms (and wallets).

Until then, keep refreshing Reddit for more leaks, and we’ll see you in the comments section when Nintendo inevitably blows our minds—again.